Freedom from the root and spirit of rejection…
A few weeks ago, I found myself struggling with an inability to trust someone who’d never given me reason to doubt them. I was overwhelmed by the narratives circling my brain assuming the worst about our relationship and her thoughts towards me when an email had not been responded to.
As I processed my feelings with a trusted friend, I found myself back in time, early 2011. Walking around Grocery Outlet with my phone smashed to my ear, I was pummeled with condemnation and words of judgment for my choice to disregard the posted plan for everyone to take Saturday off instead of working. The 15-minute tirade was filled with name-calling, scripture twisting, and vengeance/rage cloaked as righteous indignation. He “prayed judgment” over me and declared me unpardonable. I was officially labeled a Jezebel with a bitter root. Without ever having heard the word “gaslighting” that is exactly what I was experiencing. I was literally reeling.
That traumatic moment had been buried away with the entire decade plus of spiritual abuse, but now it came rushing back in full technicolor, affecting my thoughts and feelings about a trusted ministry friend. I knew I needed help to continue my healing process.
So here we are having just come through a combined anniversary that underscored this continuation of the healing journey I started so long ago.
November 10 was my 12-year anniversary of having my eyes opened to the deception I’d been under for almost 13 years by a false shepherd and his wife.
November 11 was Veteran’s Day, always a time for me of remembering my roots in publishing and authentic healing. My time in Point Man Ministries which led not only to a career in publishing but also an understanding of PTSD, the fallout of unhealed trauma, and the stunning physical, emotional and spiritual dynamics to PTSD.
It has been a healing journey that has lasted over 30 years, with lots of starts and stops and unknowingly pressing pause for long periods of time. So, with this recent recognition of past rejection affecting my current work and ministry relationships, I knew this was to be a season of pressing play again, and moving forward on a new level of healing, one that really is foundational but also a process that I cannot ignore or minimize, it’s just too important.
So, I’m inviting you along on the journey with me. This post will be part one of my journey towards a full and lasting freedom from the root and spirit of rejection. You may remember a 2-part series I did on my Redeemed & Restored YouTube Channel / Podcast with Shelly Brown about her journey out of the claws of rejection.
Check it out here:
While this theme over the next few months will chronicle my steps in recognizing any remaining rotten fruit in my life resulting from unhealed rejection and the pain and wounding it brought, my prayer is that you too will identify anything left in your life that needs tending to as well.
Thanks for spending time with me today!
Welcome, I'm Athena!
I start each day by tithing the first hour to the Lord in prayer, reading the word, doing word studies of the Text, and asking God how I can live out what I am reading. This time is usually met with meditation on devotionals that are usually written by dead guys like Oswald Chambers, CS Lewis, Charles Spurgeon, AW Tozer, and Andrew Murray.
Right now, I’m reading a daily devotional with a friend called Tozer on the Almighty God for my focus for the day. It's fun to see individually what pulls us in to spur one another on to good deeds!
The Bible is filled with action steps to walk out in practical and intentional ways. This sets my day in motion to walk it out! I hope this is your heart, too.
Consider this a personal invitation to join me in this journey!