God Idea or Good Idea?
One of the prayers I began to say every day without expecting the Lord to answer was, “Your will, not mine, Lord. Have Your way. Use me, Lord. Change my heart to desire Your will.”
I had been making over $100,000 a year and wasn’t satisfied. We were actually thinking about moving back to California because all of the top earners who stayed down there when we moved to Washington were now making twice the income I was.
I was beginning to justify in my mind that it was worth putting the ministry to veterans on hold to try to secure our financial future. The Lord was faithful to intervene and brought me to a place of conviction where I realized it was time for me to walk away from this idol. As I sensed Him whispering quietly to my heart, “Walk away from the business and help out in the ministry,” I could no longer continue in the direction I was going.
This was the beginning of a 3 year adventure of learning to trust God… succeeding, failing, and growing as I realized how weak I was and how little faith I really had. Living on faith in full-time ministry was a great opportunity for the Lord to teach me how He provides. There were so many instances of Him answering prayer for finances that were beyond human wisdom and common sense. But He was faithful, even when I wasn’t.
As we began to minister beyond the Vietnam veteran community, realizing that women too suffer from post-traumatic stress, not just combat veterans, the Lord began to do some amazing things.
We were at an annual campout in July of 1991. One morning as I was journaling my prayers, I felt the Lord giving me some direction. He wanted me to be still and learn to listen to His voice. He wanted me to learn to discern His voice from all the others so that I would not be led astray. He wanted me to clearly know His voice so that He could say, “This is the way, Walk ye in it.” I knew then that, by being sensitive to His voice, I would be able to stay on track. I’d then know the difference between a good idea and a God idea.
Little did I know that I was about to be ambushed by the enemy of my soul, who knew just where my vulnerabilities were hiding.
This is a series by Athena Dean Holtz on Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) in the Church. Click here to start at the beginning.