God Idea or Good Idea?

One of the prayers I began to say every day without expecting the Lord to answer was, “Your will, not mine, Lord. Have Your way. Use me, Lord. Change my heart to desire Your will.”

I had been making over $100,000 a year and wasn’t satisfied. We were actually thinking about moving back to California because all of the top earners who stayed down there when we moved to Washington were now making twice the income I was.

I was beginning to justify in my mind that it was worth putting the ministry to veterans on hold to try to secure our financial future. The Lord was faithful to intervene and brought me to a place of conviction where I realized it was time for me to walk away from this idol. As I sensed Him whispering quietly to my heart, “Walk away from the business and help out in the ministry,” I could no longer continue in the direction I was going.

This was the beginning of a 3 year adventure of learning to trust God… succeeding, failing, and growing as I realized how weak I was and how little faith I really had. Living on faith in full-time ministry was a great opportunity for the Lord to teach me how He provides. There were so many instances of Him answering prayer for finances that were beyond human wisdom and common sense. But He was faithful, even when I wasn’t.

As we began to minister beyond the Vietnam veteran community, realizing that women too suffer from post-traumatic stress, not just combat veterans, the Lord began to do some amazing things.

We were at an annual campout in July of 1991. One morning as I was journaling my prayers, I felt the Lord giving me some direction. He wanted me to be still and learn to listen to His voice. He wanted me to learn to discern His voice from all the others so that I would not be led astray. He wanted me to clearly know His voice so that He could say, “This is the way, Walk ye in it.” I knew then that, by being sensitive to His voice, I would be able to stay on track. I’d then know the difference between a good idea and a God idea.

Little did I know that I was about to be ambushed by the enemy of my soul, who knew just where my vulnerabilities were hiding.

This is a series by Athena Dean Holtz on Multi-Level Marketing  (MLM) in the Church. Click here to start at the beginning.

Click here to read the next post in the series.



  • Thanks for this. The Lord too had me leave my job, which I loved and go into full time ministry. I too am learning to trust Him. Though scary at times, I’m so humbled when I see Him come through.

    • I love watching God work… His ways are not our ways and when we trust Him we grow in faith… LOVE THIS!! I wonder sometimes when God turns off the money to get our attention, or to get us to go a different direction (like into ministry?!) if we address it with worldly wisdom and run off to find the next great money making opportunity … all the while, going the exact opposite direction He is wanting for us!

  • THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!! This is indeed the exact question I wanted to be answered for the past weeks. Is Network Marketing worldy or Godly? And today, I just remembered it, thus I tried to research it and every thing that came out first talks about Networking Marketing being a way to become financially blessed. Actually, the first time I was invited in this certain company, I don’t want it because it talks purely about money but later on I found out about there vision which is Godly that’s why I joined. I tried inviting people, I tried selling products but there’s something that’s bugging me, I wanted to stop but I don’t know the reason why. Lately, I just came from a retreat for 3 days wherein after that I decided to stop already and then everything is coming back again. I’m confused if I’m going to continue or I’m going to stop. But now, I know the answer, I’m going to focus on God. I’m going to prioritize Him and I’m going to be active in the church by attending their leadership lessons about discipleship. Thank you so much. GOD is indeed good. I will always remember that it’s not me who’s living already but it’s Christ who lives in me. #GODisGreat

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