I DECIDED TO GET UP AT SUNRISE TO WRITE MY BLOG.
It’s day four of a sailing adventure with the Holtz clan, and I am sitting on the bow of the boat with my tablet. After days filled with sunshine and 90+ degree weather, it feels strange to be chilly. Bundled up in my Guns & Coffee Starbucks-looking-logo sweatshirt, my fingers peek out of my sleeve to peck out the words.
I’ve been pondering how much I see God’s handiwork in everything. Everywhere I look His faithfulness and His goodness are so evident. How I seem to ask Him all through the day, “What are You trying to teach me here?”
It really didn’t used to be this way.
I would have my quiet time in the morning and then go on my way working, finding myself at the end of the day wondering where the time went. Why couldn’t I recall one time during the day where I consciously thought about God?
I felt like such a failure. So unspiritual.
Those were the days of trying to live a life of spiritual perfection I’d been convinced was my duty. Condemnation loomed, the pressure to prove that my repentance was real and salvation deserved was choking the life out of me, and I didn’t even know it.
My scripture reading this morning expresses the truth that I was missing in those days so very clearly:
For God chose to save us through our Lord Jesus Christ, not to pour out his anger on us. Christ died for us so that, whether we are dead or alive when he returns, we can live with him forever. 1 Thess 5:9
Yes, HE CHOSE to save us (nothing we did or didn’t do could not change this fact… He chose us, we didn’t choose Him!)
He chose to do that rather than pour out his anger on us.
But I lived in a man-inflicted delusion that I had to prove myself to Him. That I had to check off my spiritual to-do list to show I was worthy of His love and salvation. And the truth was, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t prove that I was good enough because I wasn’t and never would be. His grace is all I need and all I have to stand on is the blood He shed on my behalf, and for that I am so very thankful.
Every day I live this new life where gratefulness overflows, and the farther away I get from that disabling legalism, the more authentic my love for Christ feels as it fills my soul.
I don’t have to try to stop and think of Him during my day… I can’t help myself!
I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips. I will glory in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together. Psalm 34: 1-3
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