Athena’s path to truth and healing continues at the mercy of our faithful Lord. Miss the first part? Read it now.
BUT THANKS BE TO GOD FOR HIS FAITHFULNESS!
God used that same hunger to lead me back to HIS TRUTH. He showed me how often I called evil good and good evil…because my foundation was faulty…I didn’t know the difference between scripture in context and out of context! He showed me how often I quenched the Holy Spirit by quoting scriptures to Him in error. Yes, I used scriptures to rebuke the Holy Spirit of God! Hmmmmm. Isn’t that pretty much what satan did when he quoted scriptures to Jesus?
Ever since the Lord led me out of captivity, out of the hands of the enemy, and placed me back onto the road of Truth, He has spoken the words of Psalm 46:10a to me. Over and over and over.
BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD
That’s the hard part for me. A repenting Type A who is a do-er. Being still is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do, yet one of the most rewarding of all.
It has now been three years and three months since God opened my eyes to the deception I was under, and in that time, God has been SO FAITHFUL.
39 months ago I was a shell of a person:
- Bruised to near spiritual death
- A spiritual, emotional, and financial rape victim
- Exhibiting all the symptoms of a battered wife
- Beaten down with the word of God taken out of context
- Battered into submission with the condemnation and judgment of an angry God
39 months ago, I walked away saying “If this is God, then I don’t want Him”
What I found out was…That was NOT GOD.
Our God is faithful to prove Himself for who He really is and I am living proof of this fact. Over the first 12 months God tenderly wooed me back to Himself and began restoring:
- My relationships with my children
- My sanity and faith in a God of grace and mercy
- My broken, battered and shredded heart
- My desire to love others from the heart rather than keeping them at arm’s length and risk free
- My love for the body of Christ… He worked hard at replacing a judgmental and critical spirit with one of compassion and mercy
- My homelessness and gave me a wonderful sanctuary of a house in which to heal and prepare for the next chapter of my life
HEALING ATHENA DEAN HOLTZ
At the end of that first year of healing, He had started to restore my faith in Him as my provider…I’ve been trusting myself in that department for all my life, and it was obvious that He was determined to prove Himself faithful in this area as well. He helped me see how far I still had to go in learning to be still and develop a deep relationship with Him…and encouraged me to realize it was going to be a long process, and that was okay with me.
Amazingly, I shared on this topic, “Be Still and Know Our God is Faithful” for the Women of the Word – The Summit’s Women’s Ministry Monthly Meeting (WOW), right before I even knew I was going to Texas. My closing statement of my time with the women of The Summit was:
BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD…PERFECT SCRIPTURE FOR ME THIS YEAR…THAT IS MY GOAL
In less than 30 days from the time I shared with the women of my church, He led me to San Antonio, Texas…to restore my relationship with my older brother and my 90 year old momma. During the four months I helped Jim take care of our mom before she passed, I whined and complained to God that it was taking waaaaay too long for Him to restore my life. I was ready to find out what He wanted to do to re-establish my life. He just kept whispering, “Just take care of your momma.”
As He used situations in caring for my momma as examples of His great love for me and His enduring faithfulness, He went on to use other objects to reinforce the “be still” message… benches, and speed bumps and trees. After my momma went to heaven, He took me into the realm of radio ministry and allowed me the privilege of sharing His faithfulness with listeners all around the world, the encouragement to be still and know my God is faithful rang true, over and over and over again.
And then to have Him bring me back to Washington, to put me back in the book publishing ministry helping authors with Redemption Press, and over-the-moon-in-love with the-most-amazing-pastor-husband-in-the-world… well, that is just the epitome of a faithful God.
AND WHILE I CONTINUE LEARNING TO BE STILL…
One thing I know for sure… He is a God of love, of mercy, of grace… a God of redemption, of restoration… a God who is entirely faithful.
O Lord God of Heaven’s Armies! Where is there anyone as mighty as you, O Lord? You are entirely faithful. Psalm 89:8 NLT